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Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Getting Excited Again.... kinda!!

Brooke posted a link on my Facebook page today that got me excited. 
I'm very excited.
Right now it's scheduled for 8-17-13. 

I have a dr. appt coming up this Thursday and they're going to run lab work and do a sonogram of my woman business. I spoke to my Dr. for a while on the phone the other day and she has a few things that shes going to test for... and then I go in for a face to face visit April 30th to talk about what she has found and to go over what possible options are or what my treatment will be. All depending on what the labs say and what she finds in the Sonogram. So... the past few days have been shitty for me. 
I've been feeling like I'm going to pass out when I stand up, or bend over for too long. Then my head starts throbbing or pounding and I can hear my heart beat in my ears. I've also been short of breath just randomly. I almost feel like, there is something in my chest keeping me from getting a full breath of air. It feels like when you have mucus in your lungs or something but I can't cough anything up.. At random times throughout the day I get kinda shaky and crap too...Like when you're super hungry or something?... Sometimes I'd just had a meal or snack though. I don't know... I thought maybe my blood pressure was up or something so when we were at Walmart the other afternoon I checked it at the pharmacy area, but it was fine. By the end of the day, I always have a pretty awesome headache towards the back of my head. 

I was anemic while I was pregnant with all three of my kids, so that's one thing they're testing for. I'll elaborate on other stuff when I find out more. Prayers are always welcome though! haha

Anyways... Provided things are all taken care of before the date of the race... I'm going to run in it! I've already pre-registered myself and Allen. :) Another one of my friends Kambria may be running too.. and her BF Nick. We'll see though. haha.. Hopefully Lea Anne will have her foot feeling better by then and she can join! The race looks like tons of freaking fun and super colorful and messy! Just reading about it and looking at pictures and stuff made me get excited about running again. I just need to be able to do stuff without being out of breath. That'd be awesome. 

Nothing else to really update... I haven't gained any weight.. I am back down to 140... and It's stayed there for the past 3 days. I'm watching my portions and staying on the outside of the grocery store when shopping to try and stay away from super processed foods. My kids are still heathens, somedays worse than others.. I'm going to start trying to work out a little at home while Allen is off the next few days. He doesn't want me to do too much while he's gone just in case I pass out or something. haha... dork. I'll keep you folks posted. :) 
This was Easter. duh. 
Fuck my arms are fat. 
Me, Allen, and our 3 hams.
Hailey is such a brownie! Ethan has my skin tone. haha ghost white. 
Look an Egg! 
First time with Pop Rocks. hahaha! 
Easter bunny brought legos in Jacob's eggs instead of junk. He's a fan.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Full Circle... literally...

So... At this time last year I was at 187 pounds. As of today... I'm at 145. I'm not happy about it. Yeah, I've lost quite a bit.. but I'm getting too comfortable. I'm falling back into my old habits and it's almost like I don't care. But I do. I just don't have any clue where my motivation went. It's like... I ran that 5k in February and it said "Chunk deuce bitch.. I'm out." 
Well I'm not happy with where I am yet. I still have a giant freaking stomach that I want gone, I'm still flabby and not toned where I want to be. So.. I need to dig down into my fatness and pull out that skinny person I know is there. It's time to get back on track. Damn it. 

I've said that for the past like 3 or 4 blogs haven't I? I guess it's time to put up or shut up. 

Last year, in April I lost 10 lbs. I went from 187 to 177. Lea Anne said I'm supposed to work out with her 3 times a week now. LOL I'm not opposed to that though. It would help. I'm just scared of success I suppose. I need to stop drinking sodas. I have to get out of my comfort zone. Time to decide what's more important... the way I want to look, or that extra Mac N Cheese... or that Dr. Pepper. damn it! 

I'm downing water like crazy now, and am giving up sodas. They're the devil. I'm also sad to say, after my current jar of Nutella is gone, which will be soon.. It will not be making it's way back into my cabinet space. I sure do love that as a snack though. Apples with Nutella is the shit. I have found something to cure my sweet tooth though. Those Skinny Cow ice cream sammaches are freaking delicious. I look forward to them all day! haha 

This is stupid. I will not keep ballooning up like a damn sea cow. Like the title of my post, I'm turning back into a giant circle. Nope! I've made a decision. I'm back on track.. Back to my measuring cups. I'm annoyed with myself even more than the last post. ugh.
Grumpy Cat makes me happy though.